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Tinkerbell – Tinkerbell Syndrome

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The Tinkerbells are brilliant and ambitious women who are also great seducers and manipulators. Eternally dissatisfied, the Tinkerbells hide, behind their obsession with appearances and success, great suffering. And they are more and more numerous in our society. Psychotherapist Sylvie Tenenbaum explains it.

She receives more and more of them in her practice: brilliant women, who collect professional successes and conquests; hyperactive women who seek to control everything, starting with themselves; “superwomen” who are also great seductresses. So much so that Sylvie Tenenbaum, psychotherapist, has called them “Tinkerbells”, in reference to the little fairy imagined by the writer James M. Barrie, with whom they share many points in common. Starting with great suffering. We know the Peter Pan syndrome, or that of Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty. Now we have the Tinkerbell Syndrome.

The bells are angry

Ambitious, often arrogant, perfectionists…. Clochettes are willing to do anything to achieve their ends. They are a form of violence against life, because they take a form of revenge,” analyzes Sylvie Tenenbaum. It’s also about revenge, in a It is also a form of revenge for a difficult childhood, in which they were often criticized, mistreated, humiliated and manipulated. During this time, they have stored a good dose of anger. And anger is energy, which they then channel into professional and social success.

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“The symptoms of Tinkerbell syndrome form a coherent whole,” explains Sylvie Tenenbaum. We call it a syndrome when we recognize a majority of these signs in the same personality.

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Perfectionism takes the fun out of life.

Being ambitious is good. But when our desire to improve becomes a relentless drive, it can hurt.

Bluebells are afraid of their emotions

The bells are women who have suffered much in their childhood. From toxic fathers, possessive or self-centered mothers, misogynistic or absentee fathers …. Most of the time they did not have the same permissions as their brothers, if any, were not valued as girls, or were brought up to be first all the time. So they told themselves that to be loved, they had to be successful. And above all, that they don’t express their emotions. They are afraid of them because they think they won’t be able to express themselves. “They are afraid of them because they think they might take away their strength. And it is true that they have a lot of strength.

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Dealing with discomfort

Sometimes we react inappropriately and negatively to an annoyance. However, this is not always pleasant for us or for those around us.

The bells are great seductresses.

In their emotional lives, the Tinkerbells have a lot of encounters and conquests. But they are rarely satisfied. “The men they meet are never up to the task. And since they are not easy to get along with, at the slightest disappointment they are immediately thrown out. In the past they have been so frustrated that they can’t stand the slightest discomfort.

In fact, they despise men, as many of them have suffered because of their father during their childhood. So they just expect them to adore them. But in reality Tinkerbells suffer from a form of emotional dependency.. “They are still girls who expect to be loved unconditionally. Very unconsciously, they expect men to repair their psycho-affective life. But this cannot work because no one will be able to give them what they did not receive during childhood.

Tinkerbells hurts himself.

Their emotional, professional and social hyperactivity allows them to avoid thinking about their suffering. Because if Tinkerbell seems to be successful at everything, in reality, they are suffering. Hurt yourselves. Victims of themselves. “They don’t know who they are. They have never asked themselves the question. They only live to prove that they are the best, the most beautiful, the strongest. They are in a form of intoxication. Most of the time, they realize very late in life the They often realize very late the loneliness in which they have shut themselves up. And then they become aware of their immense sadness at not having been sufficiently, or badly, loved.

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Childhood stress, difficult to detect and often underestimated.

Like adults, children can be destabilized, and stressed, by changes in reference points or by unusual events.

Bells do evil

In the meantime, they do much harm to those around them. For these self-centered womeninsensitive, manipulative, tyrannical and jealous, “others are objects in their service. They do not respect them. They would like the world to live only for them. We have been tyrants with them for a long time. Unfortunately, they have copied their models well. But they are not even aware of the harm they do to themselves.

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Tinkerbells can be released

Fortunately, Tinkerbells can change, “live better, feel better.” But only if they get help. “It’s a difficult road because it involves many realizations. It’s a difficult path because it entails many realizations, especially that of having made others suffer. Usually, they are not proud of it.

The key to transformation? “Repair the little girl inside you who is still waiting for love. It is time to make her grow up. It is also time to renounce omnipotence, to go to meet one’s own emotions. And, above all, “to learn to love oneself better, in order to love better”.

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Tinkerbell syndrome. Women who hurt and are hurtby Sylvie Tenenbaum, Editions du Moment.

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Family / Couple

The 4 favorite methods of women to achieve clitoral orgasm

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Despite scientific advances, female pleasure is still synonymous with mystery. Many studies have investigated the clitoris and its secrets, but never has the word been so free on the subject. It is in this continuity that American researchers compiled the responses of a panel of 3,017 women between the ages of 18 and 93 to make their way the secrets of sexual pleasure and clitoral orgasm. Published in April 2021, this study highlights 4 techniques women use to make vaginal penetration more pleasurable: angling, rocking, shallow penetration, and pairing.

Shallowing: multiply the pleasure by a superficial touch

84% of women resort to superficiality to, once again, increase pleasure during vaginal penetration. Behind this name, which translates into French as “superficial”, hides a pretty shallow touch, penetrating right at the entrance of the vagina. It can be done with the tip of the finger, a toy, the tip of the penis, the tongue, or the lips.

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Breath play or erotic suffocation, a dangerous sexual practice

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It is sexual behavior that is controversial. the breathing game which literally means “breath play”, is a form of erotic asphyxiation practiced during sexual intercourse. But its dangerousness is often overlooked.

What is the breathing game?

ends sexual arousal”, defines the English version of Wikipedia. In practice, “erotic asphyxia” consists ofchoking your partner in the middle of a sexual act. However, playing with your breath can be very dangerous, even deadly. “May result in accidental death by suffocation,” the definition says.

However, despite the risk of injury or fainting, this practice has many adherents. A study conducted in 2021 among 4,000 American students indicates that 26.5% of those surveyed had drowned during their last sexual encounter. Another study carried out the same year on other students reveals more worrying figures: 58% of them have already been suffocated by a partner.

L’suffocation erotic it is also very popular in BSDM circles. A french website dedicated to this type of sexual practices, explains that this restriction of breathing is “practiced in different ways: hanging, suffocation, placing the head in a plastic bag or strangulation,” reports an article in female earth.

A sexual practice that can be deadly

Very risky, the breathing game was popularized by the porn industry, making it an act in its own right, especially in sexual relations marked by domination. But in reality, the consequences of this sexual practice can be fatal. Too much pressure on the larynx can cause death.

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Although there are no official figures on the number of deaths caused by this practice, Grace Millane, a 22-year-old woman, died from it in 2018. Police found traces of strangulation that could correspond to a “four to five minute” suffocation. His partner, Jesse Kempton, was convicted of femicide and sentenced to life in prison. The defense had confided “that the young woman had accidentally died at the end of a sexual game that had gone wrong, a version that had been categorically rejected by the jury,” he recalls. paris party.

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Couple: what your position on the sofa says about your relationship

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the posture adopted by couples when they sit on a sofait’s a window into your relationship status. This is the conclusion of a study conducted by Georgina Barnett, a British psychologist, on 2,000 cohabiting couples. “Tell me how you’re sitting, I’ll tell you if everything is fine in your relationship,” says the specialist in an interview with Stylish Maternity.

Sitting next to each other: a sign of imbalance?

While most couples tend to sit on the couch together, there are some pretty subtle signs that it can be signs of relationship problems. When the partners occupy only one corner of the bench and are too close together, this is synonymous with imbalance in your relationship. “The comfortable person in the corner takes up the space, is confident, and has power in the relationship. The other, on the other hand, seems less confident. He is looking for contact and reassurance, ”explains Georgina Barnett.

However, there is a nuance when they sit more in the center of the sofa, maintaining physical contact, such as a hand on the thigh or another. “Couples established in this way have trust your relationship and therefore can afford personal space. It is a mixture of intimacy and freedom”, analyzes the psychologist. But although in love, the latter no longer experience the passion of the first days, according to the expert.

When the position on the sofa heralds a crisis

According to the psychologist, time is serious in the event that the two partners are sitting at two different ends. “It’s even worse if her legs are crossed in opposite directions,” she says. This posture is generally a sign of a Tension in the couple. It can also be a sign that something was left unsaid or resentment, according to Georgina Barnett.

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And contrary to what one might think, if the partners are based on different bases, distanced from each other, it does not necessarily mean that they are in crisis. can only be couples comfortable enough with each other to have their own space. Although this study is based on a fairly large sample, its conclusions must be taken with caution.

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