For my friend Laure, nothing better than immersing herself in the sweet emotions of a movie made in “Bollywood”; Hervé can spend hours concentrating on Sudoku puzzles. As for me, for an almost immediate escape effect, gaming sessions with my cat remain at the top of my top ten. As soon as I start throwing balls of paper at it, I disconnect from daily worries and find freshness and lightness. Watching him run and jump gracefully delights me. As if doors were opening inside of me. “To take off from the planet”, as Françoise Hardy sings in Loving Me (1983), everyone has their own method and, if you haven’t found yours yet, now is the time to start. Your survival is at stake.
I need air
Why ? Because, among our fundamental physiological needs – those whose satisfaction is really vital – we find, along with food and shelter, our needs for oxygen, elimination and rest. And these are not just physical. They also concern our psyche. Freeing ourselves from ties and entrenched habits, taking breaks to regenerate ourselves are hygiene measures, as important as the morning shower and dinner.
Never, in our modern societies, have these needs become so pressing. Both at the collective level and at the individual level. It is understandable: the more you load the mule, the more it needs to breathe. Therefore, it is no coincidence that the leisure industry follows the growth curve of our production.
The main responsible? The stress, of course. The one that in the negative version of it attacks our mind but also our physique. To better understand who is looking at you, take a look at the edifying test designed by psychiatrist Patrick Légeron. The etymology says it all. The word “stress” evokes clenched jaws and flaked shoulders. It evokes the Latin stringere, which means to embrace, to squeeze. And in fact, it nests in all the places where we feel compressed, narrow: schedule too full, multiple options, increased production in a shorter period of time… The problem of stress is a problem of adaptation. Of course, we can always do more, do and redo tasks poorly defined at the beginning, accompany the children to school in front of an important professional face to face, wait biting our nails in traffic jams to arrive before closing time. Noisy shopping malls with aggressive lighting… We can and do do all of this, driven by restrictive internal messages, which usually start with “must”.
But at what price? Pulling the rope. That is, nibbling on opportunities for rest, rejuvenation, reflection. What the psychiatrist Christophe Massin denounces: “Our faculties of adaptation, to work at best, require time to digest unpleasant news, a transition to prepare for a change and a minimum possibility of anticipation. Therefore, we need calm and decompression airlocks after an event, and time to recover our energy before facing a new situation. Any bubble of leisure or relaxation that we manage to keep in our overloaded schedules seems like gold today. It has become one of our most prized possessions.
Does such interior oxygenation seem impossible to you? For British trainer Dawna Walter, the only thing that counts is the thought. If you put the energy into developing a “positive mindset,” you will succeed: “Sometimes you can’t get it all out at once. But you can take a few small steps every day in the direction of what you want to achieve, ”she recalls. Like going to see an exhibition at lunchtime, or starting each day “by resetting the counter”, in a spirit of freshness, “freed from the worries and unresolved doubts of the previous day”.
need for renovation
But stress doesn’t explain everything. Let’s imagine the unimaginable: a comfortable life, with adequate decompression and anticipation airlocks, protecting us from adversity. A regulated life like music paper, without clashes or harshness. A perfect life, after all. Well, there is every reason to think that the happy manager of this life will also have a strong desire to escape monotony and its routine rituals. He will also dream of a change of scenery and a cleansing of his daily mental output.
Why ? Because we need both to “recreate” ourselves and to “recreate” ourselves. That is, to entertain ourselves, to sometimes take unknown paths, so many opportunities that allow us to discover other dimensions of our personality, to redefine ourselves. “Facing ourselves with new experiences, continuing certain learning with the implication of the taste for effort”, fine-tuning our perception of beauty and above all, above all, “having purely disinterested activities”.
This is how the psychologist Abraham Maslow defined the greatest human need, that of personal fulfillment. He is the one who pushes Sophie to take Hebrew lessons after her heavy days at work, just to “understand this culture and this system of thought.” The one that pushes Patrick, an architect, to get lost in neighborhoods he doesn’t know, just to “change his vision of the city”. Or Jacques who invites us to stop and contemplate the sky before leaving again, nourished by new energies.
To satisfy this need for “recreation”, sometimes it is enough to buy a long-distance ticket. “Once a year, go somewhere you’ve never been before,” suggests the Dalai Lama in his famous “life advice” widely circulated on the Internet. But you can’t always get to “another place”. We can find the same life, the same rails, the same limitations thousands of miles away. For a more invigorating, everyday effect, there is what psychoanalyst Guy Corneau calls the “inner garden.” “It shows areas of shadow and light. You can enjoy the sun’s rays. You can rest there and take a nap. You can hear the wind in the trees and the birds singing. […] In short, it is a place to breathe fresh air, in every sense of the word. »
For him, this place is the place where we reconnect with the most alive part of us. He can be reached by walking, playing or singing in a choir. What do these different ways of entertaining us have in common? Giving us access to feelings of expansion, a form of joy. These moments of grace escape the laws of profitability, production and efficiency. They are free and useless… If not the essential: our interior construction, our freedom. Will you be able to make more and more space for them?
to go further
How to get rid of dark thoughts by Dawna Walter.
A pure product of “personal development”, which helps to look at life with new eyes (Ediciones Leduc.s, 2007).
the best of oneself by Guy Corneau.
A book that will undoubtedly become a reference to understand everything about our limits and our pending publication potential (Robert Laffont, 2007).
My bubble is…
make a withdrawal
Veronique is a lawyer.
“I go to a retreat at a Benedictine convent twice a year. When I close the door of my apartment, I leave all my stress behind. This week allows me to take care of my soul. I chat with the monks, I listen to them sing in Gregorian, I attend services, I take time to think, to read. »
To cut wood
Patrick Pelloux is an emergency doctor
“When I come home from work with my bag of worries, I can’t talk to my wife about it. She wouldn’t understand. So gardener. I am a kind of Charles Ingalls. Like him in Little House on the Prairie, I can chop wood for hours. But some days there is so much violence in the hospital that it is not enough. »
6 questions you should ask yourself for a 100% effective diet
Your weight loss success largely depends on your willingness to rise to the challenge. If you take the plunge before you’re ready, your weight loss program could fail at the first hurdle.
Knowing that you need to make changes in your life and actually making them are two different things.
Use these questions to assess your readiness to lose weight.
Are you motivated to make long-term changes to your lifestyle?
Successful weight loss depends on making permanent lifestyle changes, such as eating healthy, low-calorie foods and including physical activity in your daily routine. This could represent a significant departure from your current lifestyle.
You may need to revise your diet to eat more whole grains, fruits, and vegetables, for example. It will be important to eat a variety of healthy foods. You’ll also need to find time for physical activity, ideally for at least 30 to 45 minutes, or more, most days of the week.
Find your motivation and focus on it:
Your true motivation is the best guarantee of success, but what is it? To make these changes, ask yourself first why you want to lose weight, all these changes to:
- have better health,
- better appearance
- feel better about yourself
- better way
- start a new love story
Have you identified anything in your life that might distract you from your weight loss goal?
If you’re dealing with major life events, such as marital problems, work stress, illness, or financial worries, you may not want to add the challenge of reviewing your eating habits and time spent being physically active. It may be better to wait until the right time to embark on your weight loss program to limit the risk of failure due to external factors that are too heavy.
Do you have a realistic picture of how much weight you will lose and how fast?
Reaching and maintaining a healthy weight is a lifelong process. Start by making sure your weight loss goal is safe and realistic, such as losing 5 percent of your current weight.
Try to start losing 0.5 to 1 kilogram per week until you reach your goal. This means burning 500 to 1,000 more calories than you consume each day, through diet and exercise.
You could lose weight faster if you change your habits significantly. However, be careful. Radical changes that are not sustainable are unlikely to be effective in the long term.
Have you resolved emotional problems related to your weight?
Emotions and food are often intertwined. Anger, stress, grief, and boredom can trigger emotional eating. If you have a history of disordered eating, losing weight can be even more difficult.
To prepare for challenges, identify emotional issues related to eating.
Do you have support around you?
Any weight loss program can be difficult. You may face moments of temptation or discouragement. Having someone around you to offer encouragement can help. If you don’t have friends or loved ones you can rely on for positive help, consider joining a weight loss support group.
If you want to keep your weight loss efforts to yourself and not tell anyone about it, it will be more difficult. But maybe you’re ready to be responsible to yourself: set up dates with yourself then. With summary about:
- – regular weigh-ins
- – monitor your diet
- – track your physical activity
Have you really accepted the weight loss challenge?
If you don’t have a positive attitude toward weight loss, you may not be ready. And if you fear what’s to come, you’re more likely to find excuses to veer off course.
Instead, try to take a nice view of your new lifestyle and stay positive. Focus on how good you will feel when you are more active or weigh less. Imagine celebrating all the successes along the way, whether it’s enjoying a new food, completing another workout, or losing your first few pounds.
If you answered yes to most or all of the questions
You are probably ready to make lifestyle changes that will help you lose weight permanently. Get ahead with healthy eating and regular physical activity, starting today!
If you think you need help, see a dietitian or join a reputable weight loss program. If you have a significant amount of weight to lose, you may benefit from follow-up with a therapist or obesity specialist.
If you answer no to more than one of the questions
You may not be ready to embark on a weight loss program right now, and that’s okay. Explore what’s holding you back and face those obstacles.
Consider seeking help from a professional weight loss tracker to help you deal with any roadblocks. Then, reassess your readiness for your weight loss program so you can get off to a great start.
Ready, set, let’s go
If you can’t answer every question with a simple yes or no, but overall you feel positive and confident with your answers, consider starting now.
You may never have definitive answers in life. Don’t let this rob you of the opportunity to achieve your weight loss goals.
The 9 benefits of oats
There are so many health benefits to enjoying a bowl of oatmeal every morning. Loaded with fiber, protein, and vitamins, rolled oats are a perfect way to start your day. Along with its nutritional content, oats also have amazing cosmetic benefits that you may not be aware of. Keep reading to know more!
Here are 10 reasons to add oatmeal to your routine:
They are full of nutrients.
Rolled oats are a good source of fiber, vitamins, and minerals, including 27% RDA manganese, 7% RDA phosphorus and copper, 10% RDA zinc, 4% RDA iron, 5% RDA magnesium, and vitamin B1. .
They help reduce cholesterol levels.
Oats are often touted as a health food, and for good reason. Not only are they a good source of fiber, but they can also help lower cholesterol levels. The soluble fiber in oats binds cholesterol in the intestine and prevents it from being absorbed into the bloodstream. In addition, oats promote the excretion of bile acids, which are made from cholesterol.
They stabilize blood sugar levels.
Anyone who has ever experienced hypoglycemia knows that it can be a real ordeal. He feels irritable, shaky and generally in a bad mood. Rolled oats are a great way to stabilize your blood sugar and avoid those dreaded lows. The soluble fiber in oats slows the absorption of glucose into the blood, providing a more regular source of energy. Additionally, rolled oats contain nutrients such as magnesium and chromium, which help the body to better process glucose.
They are filling and satisfying.
One of the reasons oats are so filling is because they contain a type of fiber called beta-glucan. This soluble fiber forms a gel-like substance in the stomach. This helps slow down the digestion process. Therefore, oats can help you feel full longer.
They can help you lose weight.
Its high fiber content makes oats a healthy food that promotes weight loss. Fiber helps keep you full longer, which prevents overeating. Plus, oats are a complex carbohydrate, which means they take longer to digest and provide long-lasting energy throughout the morning. Eating oatmeal for breakfast can also help regulate blood sugar and prevent cravings later in the day.
They keep you regular.
The high water content of rolled oats helps keep the intestines hydrated. This helps reduce constipation. Beta-glucan can also help absorb excess water in the intestine, making stool softer and easier to pass.
They protect against heart disease.
Rolled oats have long been considered a heart-healthy food, and for good reason. Studies have shown that rolled oats can help lower cholesterol levels and reduce the risk of heart disease. One of the main nutrients in oats is a type of active ingredient called avenanthramide. This special component helps prevent the body from absorbing cholesterol and also has powerful antioxidant properties. Let’s not forget about our beloved beta-glucan, the soluble fiber that helps lower LDL cholesterol levels.
They are beneficial for your skin and your hair…
Oats are often used in beauty products as they are believed to relieve dry skin and scalp conditions such as dandruff. They are also said to soothe itchiness caused by poison ivy or sumac rashes. In local application, in the form of a mask or compress, oats would relieve the inflammation and redness of eczema or other inflammatory skin conditions.
An infusion of oats can help eliminate acne.
Applied topically, oats can help relieve itching, inflammation, and dryness. Infusion of oats is another way to harness the power of this humble cereal. Made by infusing rolled oats in hot water, oat tea has the same skin-benefiting properties as topical oat products.
Likewise, an infusion of oats can help detoxify the skin and eliminate acne. Its antioxidant and anti-inflammatory compounds work together to reduce redness, irritation, and breakouts. For best results, drink oatmeal tea daily, then apply a gentle cleanser and moisturizer. With regular use, you should start to see a noticeable improvement in the appearance of your skin.
How to behave better with your teenager? Here are 8 phrases to ban
Teenagers can be a difficult audience. They are in that middle phase of life where they are not quite children, but not quite adults. Therefore, they can be very sensitive and overreact to the slightest thing. Therefore, as a parent, it is important to choose your words carefully when addressing your teen. With that in mind, here are 8 phrases you should avoid saying to your teen:
“You are exactly like your father/mother.”
As teens get older, they try to figure out who they are and their place in the world. They often look to their parents for advice and support, but can sometimes feel that they are being compared to their parents in a negative way. If you find yourself telling your teen “you’re just like your mom or dad,” try not to do it. This statement can make you feel that you are not good enough or that you will never measure up to your parents’ achievements. Instead, focus on praising her unique qualities and strengths. This will help you gain self-confidence and feel good about yourself.
“Don’t be a drama queen. »
Anyone who has been a teenager knows that life can feel like one big drama. From acne to heartbreak, it can feel like the world is constantly conspiring against us. So the last thing a teen needs is to be told they’re overreacting or being melodramatic. This not only invalidates their feelings, but it can also make them feel powerless to control their own emotions. When a teen is feeling overwhelmed, the best thing he can do is offer her support and understanding. And if you’re tempted to tell her, “Don’t be a drama queen,” bite your tongue and think about how you wish you’d been treated at her age.
“I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed. »
When a teenager hears this phrase, it can feel like a stab to the heart. It’s hard enough hearing that a parent or guardian is disappointed in you, but feeling like you’ve let them down can be devastating. Unfortunately, this phrase is all too common and can do more harm than good. On the one hand, it indicates that the interlocutor is more concerned with her own feelings than with those of the adolescent. It also suggests that the adolescent has failed to meet an arbitrary standard and is lacking in some way. Finally, it sends the message that the teen can’t fix things. So think twice. Expressing yourself better or explaining yourself more can do a lot of good.
” You are punished. »
It is a phrase that no teenager wants to hear. And that is a phrase that parents should never say. Why ? Because punishing a teenager is often ineffective and can have such serious repercussions. When a teenager is grounded, he is often isolated from her friends and forbidden to do what she loves. This can lead to feelings of loneliness, frustration, and resentment. In addition, punishing a teenager causes conflicts between parents and children.
Instead of resorting to punishment, parents should try to find other ways to discipline their teens. For example, setting clear expectations and consequences for misbehavior, or removing privileges like the right to drive or use a cell phone. Punishment should be the last resort, not the first thing that comes to mind when a teen misbehaves.
” We’ll see. “
If you’re a parent of a teenager, you’ve probably heard the phrase “we’ll see” more often than not. It’s the answer when your teen doesn’t want to do something, whether it’s going to school or taking out the trash. And while “we’ll see” may seem like a harmless way to postpone a decision, it can actually be very damaging.
Here’s why: This phrase sends the message that your teen’s wants and needs are not a priority. It indicates that her feelings are invalid and her opinions don’t matter. In other words, it’s a way of invalidating your teen’s experiences and postponing her needs indefinitely. The next time you’re tempted to say, “We’ll see,” try something else. For example, you can say “Let me think about it” or “I’m not sure yet.” These responses show that you take your teen’s concerns seriously and are committed to making a decision that works for everyone involved.
“Fine, do what you want. »
When it comes to teenagers, this answer is never the right one. He communicates two things to a teenager: that you don’t care about his opinion and that he is not willing to compromise. The result is likely to be a teen feeling ignored and misunderstood, leading to more conflict later on. Instead, he tries to say something like, “I see you’re passionate about this, and I’m willing to compromise.” This sends the message that you respect their opinion and are willing to work together to find a solution that everyone can enjoy. Ultimately, this is the best way to avoid conflict and build a strong relationship with your teen.
“I don’t care what others do. »
When you’re a teenager, you feel like everyone is watching you and waiting for you to make a mistake. So when someone says “I don’t care what anyone else does,” it can sound like they’re saying “I don’t care what you do.” Although that is not what it means, it can be painful. Teenagers are already under a lot of pressure: from school, from their parents, from their friends. The last thing they need is someone telling them their choices don’t matter. The next time you talk to a teenager, remember that they are just trying to figure things out. He will be patient and understanding, and let him know that he is interested in what he is doing.
“Trust me, I know what I’m talking about. »
We have all been there. We try to give a teenager sage advice, but he won’t listen. So we utter those fateful words: “Trust me, I know what I’m talking about.” “Big mistake. These words are almost certain to trigger an immediate and provocative response.” Oh yeah? Well, you know nothing at all! The problem is that teens are programmed to push back against authority figures. Telling them to trust you will only drive them deeper.
If you want to be heard, you need to find a way to connect with your teen on their level. Avoid using phrases like “when I was your age” or “you’ll understand when you’re older.” Instead, try to empathize with how they feel and explain things in a way that makes sense to them.
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