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Orgasm: Pretending is lying?

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Simulate, pretend to feel pleasure, would that be lying? But why reduce the simulation to a secret culprit or to the expression of manipulation? Making love is an encounter where you want the other completely, completely offered, completely yourself. We would like the rest of the world to go away, fears vanquished, evidence found in the fusion of bodies and witnessed in pleasure.

I need to be reassured

When women – very naively – think that their partner’s erection and ejaculation are the result of their power of seduction, men also very legitimately look to female pleasure to measure their value. Above all because they are nourished by the idea that the enjoyment of women depends on them, an idea that women themselves endorse. However, the most expert man, the most affectionate, the most affectionate in the world can do nothing if the woman is not prepared, on this or those nights, to welcome the pleasure and the inner revolution that this implies.

fear of undressing

In fact, not enjoying may be for her an unconscious way of protecting herself from her emotions, from this all-too-expected fusion, from the fear she has of losing control, from the violence of the orgasm… However, while ‘she is all this safeguard, subjected to the silence of her sex, she does not forget the expectation that the man has of her and what is at stake: to enjoy to reassure and be loved in return. Thus, with cleverly orchestrated moans, she offers what she considers to be a pretty image of herself, namely: victory for her partner! Another woman will seek in these moans the opportunity for a sensual staging in which she observes herself. If a form of self-excitement can result from it, enjoyment often does not come, for lack of abandonment and letting go.

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a matter of sincerity

Lying ? Should we tell the truth, the whole truth? Are we, men and women, only capable of listening to the absolute frankness of the other –“No, I did not come”– without feeling challenged? Are we prepared to tell each other without fear of losing the trust of the other? No, of course not, and less so in this time of love when bodies and emotions are naked. However, wanting too much to satisfy the expectations of the other, we run the risk of losing ourselves along the way, far from ourselves and our possibilities of losing what makes the magic of the meeting of two bodies: giving and receiving in full trust. . In this illusion of omnipotence that simulation offers, we forget this delicious fragility from which jouissance springs. So if there is a lie, isn’t it primarily self-made?

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Family / Couple

The 4 favorite methods of women to achieve clitoral orgasm

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Despite scientific advances, female pleasure is still synonymous with mystery. Many studies have investigated the clitoris and its secrets, but never has the word been so free on the subject. It is in this continuity that American researchers compiled the responses of a panel of 3,017 women between the ages of 18 and 93 to make their way the secrets of sexual pleasure and clitoral orgasm. Published in April 2021, this study highlights 4 techniques women use to make vaginal penetration more pleasurable: angling, rocking, shallow penetration, and pairing.

Shallowing: multiply the pleasure by a superficial touch

84% of women resort to superficiality to, once again, increase pleasure during vaginal penetration. Behind this name, which translates into French as “superficial”, hides a pretty shallow touch, penetrating right at the entrance of the vagina. It can be done with the tip of the finger, a toy, the tip of the penis, the tongue, or the lips.

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Breath play or erotic suffocation, a dangerous sexual practice

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It is sexual behavior that is controversial. the breathing game which literally means “breath play”, is a form of erotic asphyxiation practiced during sexual intercourse. But its dangerousness is often overlooked.

What is the breathing game?

ends sexual arousal”, defines the English version of Wikipedia. In practice, “erotic asphyxia” consists ofchoking your partner in the middle of a sexual act. However, playing with your breath can be very dangerous, even deadly. “May result in accidental death by suffocation,” the definition says.

However, despite the risk of injury or fainting, this practice has many adherents. A study conducted in 2021 among 4,000 American students indicates that 26.5% of those surveyed had drowned during their last sexual encounter. Another study carried out the same year on other students reveals more worrying figures: 58% of them have already been suffocated by a partner.

L’suffocation erotic it is also very popular in BSDM circles. A french website dedicated to this type of sexual practices, explains that this restriction of breathing is “practiced in different ways: hanging, suffocation, placing the head in a plastic bag or strangulation,” reports an article in female earth.

A sexual practice that can be deadly

Very risky, the breathing game was popularized by the porn industry, making it an act in its own right, especially in sexual relations marked by domination. But in reality, the consequences of this sexual practice can be fatal. Too much pressure on the larynx can cause death.

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Although there are no official figures on the number of deaths caused by this practice, Grace Millane, a 22-year-old woman, died from it in 2018. Police found traces of strangulation that could correspond to a “four to five minute” suffocation. His partner, Jesse Kempton, was convicted of femicide and sentenced to life in prison. The defense had confided “that the young woman had accidentally died at the end of a sexual game that had gone wrong, a version that had been categorically rejected by the jury,” he recalls. paris party.

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Couple: what your position on the sofa says about your relationship

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the posture adopted by couples when they sit on a sofait’s a window into your relationship status. This is the conclusion of a study conducted by Georgina Barnett, a British psychologist, on 2,000 cohabiting couples. “Tell me how you’re sitting, I’ll tell you if everything is fine in your relationship,” says the specialist in an interview with Stylish Maternity.

Sitting next to each other: a sign of imbalance?

While most couples tend to sit on the couch together, there are some pretty subtle signs that it can be signs of relationship problems. When the partners occupy only one corner of the bench and are too close together, this is synonymous with imbalance in your relationship. “The comfortable person in the corner takes up the space, is confident, and has power in the relationship. The other, on the other hand, seems less confident. He is looking for contact and reassurance, ”explains Georgina Barnett.

However, there is a nuance when they sit more in the center of the sofa, maintaining physical contact, such as a hand on the thigh or another. “Couples established in this way have trust your relationship and therefore can afford personal space. It is a mixture of intimacy and freedom”, analyzes the psychologist. But although in love, the latter no longer experience the passion of the first days, according to the expert.

When the position on the sofa heralds a crisis

According to the psychologist, time is serious in the event that the two partners are sitting at two different ends. “It’s even worse if her legs are crossed in opposite directions,” she says. This posture is generally a sign of a Tension in the couple. It can also be a sign that something was left unsaid or resentment, according to Georgina Barnett.

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And contrary to what one might think, if the partners are based on different bases, distanced from each other, it does not necessarily mean that they are in crisis. can only be couples comfortable enough with each other to have their own space. Although this study is based on a fairly large sample, its conclusions must be taken with caution.

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