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Can you kiss your children on the mouth?

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How do you feel about kissing children on the mouth?

It’s not something I recommend to parents. In fact, frankly, I discourage it. Kissing on the mouth is a gesture of love, not affection.

However, in the minds of parents who kiss their child on the mouth, there is nothing incestuous?

Of course not! And fortunately. But it is a question of symbolism. In France and in many other countries, a kiss on the mouth is a gesture of love. Having gestures with your child that are culturally loving gestures is in my opinion a mistake. On the one hand, it does not help the child to understand that adults should not indulge in certain gestures with him, and on the other hand, it blurs the message about the different types of affection that exist.

What do you mean by this?

One does not love one’s spouse as one loves one’s children. In French, we have only one word, “amour”. In other languages, there are several. In Greek, for example, there are “philia”, “agape” and “eros”. You would never use the latter to talk about parental love. The child is not aware of these differences, it is the adult who must teach them to him. A child can say to her father “when I grow up, I will marry you”. We have to explain to her why this is not possible. In the same way, if a child sees his parents kissing each other on the mouth, he understands that it is not a kiss for him.

Is there any educational value in not kissing your child on the mouth?

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It helps them to distinguish between what is normal and what is not. If we treat our child with gestures that should be reserved for adults, we do not give him the keys to understand that adults do not have the right to have affectionate gestures with him. The parent-child relationship should not resemble a loving relationship, neither in gestures nor in words. I am not saying that a parent who kisses his child on the mouth or allows him to sleep in his bed is malicious, I am only saying that it is easier for the child to find his way when the limits are clearly marked.

What do you mean by the idea of difference in the words used?

I hear many parents say to their child “I love you”. To me, this is a phrase from the register of love. You don’t say to your partner “I love you very much”, you say “I love you”, that’s absolute. So you can’t say the same thing to your child. In the past, you wouldn’t tell your child that you love them. You would show them, with a presence, an attention…. This is still relevant today. But if you want to express your parental love, you can nuance it by saying, for example, “I love you… as high as the sun” or “I love you… as red as a tomato”. It can even become a game between you and your child. It’s sincere, but they understand the difference.

What if the child initiates the kiss on the mouth?

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Don’t make a big deal out of it. You don’t pull away, you don’t get angry, but you explain to him that it’s not done. It can be something like “Your kiss is nice, but you know I’m not your lover. Kissing on the mouth is for adults only.” If he does it again, he may be trying to send us a message. Especially if we have never kissed him on the mouth. In this case, we ask him questions to understand if he has experienced anything particular in relation to this gesture, at school or elsewhere.

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To remember

– The love relationship between adults is not the same as the affective relationship between parents and children. The codes must be different, both in gestures and words.

– Culturally, kissing on the mouth is a gesture of love. Therefore, it should be reserved for romantic relationships.

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Family / Couple

The 4 favorite methods of women to achieve clitoral orgasm

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Despite scientific advances, female pleasure is still synonymous with mystery. Many studies have investigated the clitoris and its secrets, but never has the word been so free on the subject. It is in this continuity that American researchers compiled the responses of a panel of 3,017 women between the ages of 18 and 93 to make their way the secrets of sexual pleasure and clitoral orgasm. Published in April 2021, this study highlights 4 techniques women use to make vaginal penetration more pleasurable: angling, rocking, shallow penetration, and pairing.

Shallowing: multiply the pleasure by a superficial touch

84% of women resort to superficiality to, once again, increase pleasure during vaginal penetration. Behind this name, which translates into French as “superficial”, hides a pretty shallow touch, penetrating right at the entrance of the vagina. It can be done with the tip of the finger, a toy, the tip of the penis, the tongue, or the lips.

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Breath play or erotic suffocation, a dangerous sexual practice

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It is sexual behavior that is controversial. the breathing game which literally means “breath play”, is a form of erotic asphyxiation practiced during sexual intercourse. But its dangerousness is often overlooked.

What is the breathing game?

ends sexual arousal”, defines the English version of Wikipedia. In practice, “erotic asphyxia” consists ofchoking your partner in the middle of a sexual act. However, playing with your breath can be very dangerous, even deadly. “May result in accidental death by suffocation,” the definition says.

However, despite the risk of injury or fainting, this practice has many adherents. A study conducted in 2021 among 4,000 American students indicates that 26.5% of those surveyed had drowned during their last sexual encounter. Another study carried out the same year on other students reveals more worrying figures: 58% of them have already been suffocated by a partner.

L’suffocation erotic it is also very popular in BSDM circles. A french website dedicated to this type of sexual practices, explains that this restriction of breathing is “practiced in different ways: hanging, suffocation, placing the head in a plastic bag or strangulation,” reports an article in female earth.

A sexual practice that can be deadly

Very risky, the breathing game was popularized by the porn industry, making it an act in its own right, especially in sexual relations marked by domination. But in reality, the consequences of this sexual practice can be fatal. Too much pressure on the larynx can cause death.

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Although there are no official figures on the number of deaths caused by this practice, Grace Millane, a 22-year-old woman, died from it in 2018. Police found traces of strangulation that could correspond to a “four to five minute” suffocation. His partner, Jesse Kempton, was convicted of femicide and sentenced to life in prison. The defense had confided “that the young woman had accidentally died at the end of a sexual game that had gone wrong, a version that had been categorically rejected by the jury,” he recalls. paris party.

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Couple: what your position on the sofa says about your relationship

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the posture adopted by couples when they sit on a sofait’s a window into your relationship status. This is the conclusion of a study conducted by Georgina Barnett, a British psychologist, on 2,000 cohabiting couples. “Tell me how you’re sitting, I’ll tell you if everything is fine in your relationship,” says the specialist in an interview with Stylish Maternity.

Sitting next to each other: a sign of imbalance?

While most couples tend to sit on the couch together, there are some pretty subtle signs that it can be signs of relationship problems. When the partners occupy only one corner of the bench and are too close together, this is synonymous with imbalance in your relationship. “The comfortable person in the corner takes up the space, is confident, and has power in the relationship. The other, on the other hand, seems less confident. He is looking for contact and reassurance, ”explains Georgina Barnett.

However, there is a nuance when they sit more in the center of the sofa, maintaining physical contact, such as a hand on the thigh or another. “Couples established in this way have trust your relationship and therefore can afford personal space. It is a mixture of intimacy and freedom”, analyzes the psychologist. But although in love, the latter no longer experience the passion of the first days, according to the expert.

When the position on the sofa heralds a crisis

According to the psychologist, time is serious in the event that the two partners are sitting at two different ends. “It’s even worse if her legs are crossed in opposite directions,” she says. This posture is generally a sign of a Tension in the couple. It can also be a sign that something was left unsaid or resentment, according to Georgina Barnett.

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And contrary to what one might think, if the partners are based on different bases, distanced from each other, it does not necessarily mean that they are in crisis. can only be couples comfortable enough with each other to have their own space. Although this study is based on a fairly large sample, its conclusions must be taken with caution.

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